DOUBT

What a blow it is,
To have all you think you are –
Taken in an instant,
Those nurtured gifts,
That guarded weakness,
Cherished place in future’s isle
Snatched away by the hand of doubt,
No quick path’s to be found,
Only the sound of clumping boots in the mud
Slowly, carefully picking cockles of future worth,
Before the rising of the tide.
 
 
 
 
 
 
If a moment ago I was good,
Then now I stand on the shoulders of a giant,
That he never existed is irrelevant,
So long as I can leap to surer ground,
If his memory’s besmirched by mud and doubt
So be it,
The next standing stone rises up,
Even if I cannot see it,
Intuitions breath fills my sails,
Yet now I know not to worship her,
The wind is just the wind,
Of no more use alone than the planks of wood beneath my toes,
The creaking ropes or sweating arms of sailors,
Transporting this fool to a land,
Where he will no longer be a fool,
But see a hole in the mirror,
Through which the whole world makes sense,
And his own place in it
Is irrelevant, no – not irrelevant,
Just a ship at sea,
Much smaller is the ship but no less part
Of the sea.
 

On another matter completely…To those of you who read and enjoyed my post Rebirth, which was written for Elli’s competition, please follow the link below:

http://elliwrites.wordpress.com/2011/04/10/rebirth-april-contest-entry/

And vote by clicking on the number of stars you think it deserves. Many Thanks!

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Playtime

 

In any aspect of life, playtime is vital. It is seriously important that we all chill out!

Think about a baby…They start with so little. They can’t walk, talk, or fend for themselves in any way. And yet they learn at a frenetic rate. There is much said about the elasticity of young brains and how this is lost as we grow up. Bullshit.

They learn quickly because they are not afraid to make mistakes. They laugh at mistakes. They celebrate them for what they are – another step closer to getting things right. And what is ‘right’ anyway? Just an egoic label arbitrary assigned by society.

To get good at anything, be that learning to speak, writing, sports, Martial Arts, dancing, anything… we have to play. We have to create for ourselves a zone where we can just try things out. A space free from fear of failure to try different permutations and see what works and what doesn’t. This is especially important in the creative arts. Here we adopt the rule of completely detaching judgment of what we are doing until we are at a point where we can reflect and review.  Then and only then is it time to let the control freak have their say. In this Blog, whether it is poetry, Haikus or longer articles I make great effort to write quickly and without too much self-consciousness. If my posts are not always as polished as they should be then that is a consequence of the playful spirit in which I write. And as C-C Lester writes in her brilliant post ‘The Author, The Journalist and the Blogger’, that is what blogging is all about – experimentation. Experimentation and play.

With Darker Pen

Bees of doom
Do gather round,
A man beset by worries beyond his ken,
The future told through eyes of fear,
History rewritten with darker pen,
In times like this it pays to stop,
And heed teachings of the wiser man
You were yesterday:
Take a breath and think of all those
Far worse off than yourself,
It’s all a thought, it’s all just you
The day still shines or clouds as it will,
There is no reason for your pain,
It simply is,
And in that acceptance, that disdain
Release-

Self-help?

Self help: what is it exactly? On the face of it, it appears to be the ability to  address the problems that plague you and your life without outside help. However, it also suggests the existence of an inner strength or power you are presumably unable to tap at present or are unaware of (and that is why you need to read the book, go to the talk or have the life-changing experience).

This has often been called ‘finding yourself’.

So it could be said that you are in fact seeking help from outside yourself, your current self that is. You are looking for a new self, which somehow you already are, but are told that to realise its potential you need to set out on a path of self-growth: from ‘here’ to the longed for ‘there’.

On this path you are not seeking to add anything but rather take away the illusions and misconceptions you label yourself with, and with new eyes discover what you really are. One way this has happened is by hitting rock  bottom – a state of depression where nothing new or interesting is seen, and nothing can ever suprise you. A very dark place indeed. But one day a light will crack open the darkness and introduce you to a new world, one far bigger than the old one, with a fascination that is constantly renewed – enough to hold your interest for a lifetime. This release is what happens when the tiny self or ego that we take to be us is discovered to be only a subset of a wider and real you. This is the Self with a capital ‘S’.

So self-help, at a deeper level, is all about starting off as the little self and ending up as the big Self. It is about discovering who you really are and realising there was nothing wrong in the first place. It is about love. Along the way many skills will be learned and at times this may seem to be what self-help is all about. But actually every new skill mastered is only a easier way of seeing or reminding us that everything is perfectly fine.

That is not to say that we should underestimate the growth of the little self, and the value of all it can learn from the big Self. This is the real meaning of Self-help. It is the big Self helping the little self (you or I) and the little self learning to express or be a conduit for the big Self, which otherwise would be frustrated.

In the coming months I will aim to write about some of these skills and life tools that can help us along this challenging but deeply rewarding way.

(C) Copyright Mark B Williams 2014
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